When feelings of jealousy emerge, I would like to advocate to the person feeling the jealousy to ask yourself: What are your feelings and needs?
Example:
"When I saw her flirting with that other man, I got angry. I struggled to figure out the feeling underneath that anger. Aha! Fear. I was afraid of losing her. Hmmm what is my need? My need for security in our relationship was threatened."
When dealing with jealousy in a relationship, An approach like this goes to the source of the issue and allows communication between lovers to flow in a way that will foster connection and trust.
The alternative, which might include blaming, shaming, or guilting, will only create problems.
Notice in the animation below where the man makes a few mistakes but eventually addresses the needs underlying his girlfriend's jealousy.
Animations on this Topic
A couple deals with jealousy and it turns into a music video: Stop Staring At That Woman How to deal with jealousy in marriage and other love relationships. You can see more here about dealing with jealousy in relationships. (rated PG - 3.5 min)
